In my life I have heard a lot of women refer to themselves as “single mothers.” Women who are divorced receiving child support from a man who is in their child’s life, women who have husbands who they don’t feel participate or helped enough, women who’s kids have fathers who love them.
Words are like toothpaste, you can never put them back. Hurtful words spoken about my life have stayed with me and will for my entire life. Think before you speak. And think before you falsely label yourself as a “single mom.”
Listen up, I was raise by a single mother. A woman who’s husband died and she was left with a 3 month old. A woman who put herself through nursing school with no physical, financial, or moral support. A woman who did it all by herself. Bought a house for us, made it a home, sent me to college, and always gave me everything I could have ever needed + more.
It was always just my mother and I and growing up, she did her best not to make me feel fatherless. She did such an amazing job being a parent I rarely felt I needed another. Of course Donuts with Dads or Fathers Day were never my favorite days, but I was happy with my life. I dreaded my wedding day because I would have no one to walk me down the aisle or dance the father daughter dance with, although my mother would have stepped in I don’t feel it would be the same. There was always somewhat of a hole in our family, it was inevitable. So when I hear women talking about being a “single mother” when their children have a father they know and love, it makes me sick.
I’ve read the stats about how horrible children of single mothers turn out. I’ve been looked down on in my life coming from a single mother. But, I feel it’s made me stronger. I am a better person from what she has showed me. She led by example.
My mother would work nights, 7pm-7am, but you bet your ass she would be at my swim meet as soon as she got off at 7:15am after working all night. She never missed a single meet, a single soccer game, never ever missed a single event in my life. She put herself through nursing school while raising a toddler. And because of her I can’t make excuses because she has showed me first hand that anything is possible.
My mother did it all without child support, without someone to cut the grass or take out the trash. No one changed the oil in her car or helped her fix broken things around the house. She was the mom, handy man, bread winner, and my hero. My mother did it all and I’m so grateful to have such a strong role model in my life.
The relationship between a single mother and their child is unlike any other. When I tell people how close my mother and I are, people think they understand, but they don’t. We only have each other, and we have only ever had each other. We are the real life Gilmore Girls and I am forever grateful to have a woman like her raise me with such grace and love. She is my mother, my best friend and my favorite human. If you think you understand, I doubt you do.
I will never be able to thank her enough. I hope I can be half the woman she HAD to be.
*DISCLAIMER- Almost all Moms are great. Single moms do come in different ways. I just wanted to highlight on mine*
“I look around at what I got & without you, it ain’t a lot, but I got everything, with you, everything..”